In New York city there are literally millions of people that are simultaneously sad and happy and afraid and angry. No wonder people don't believe in God. In a world so intensely complex, it is pretty darn difficult to imagine anything or anyone can hold all of this.
Tonight I made it to the store in time to buy a pint of chocolate and peanut butter Haagan Dazs ice cream before they closed their doors for the night. I will not eat the whole thing tonight. Promise. But that is a side note. I was feeling pretty darn good about my timely trip in and out of the store when I came upon an eclectic collection of human beings preparing to sleep on the steps of the church where I work. Propping up card board boxes, passing cigarettes around, some laughing, some devastatingly sober, I nearly stopped in my tracks as I thought to myself, "There are a million worlds and a million lives I know nothing about." Strange. Even that is an understatement.
I am going to eat ice cream tonight. Eat ice cream and write a sermon on one of those epic tragedies in the Bible... David and Absalom. Fascinating that Michelangelo chose to sculpt David with Herculean strength and perfect features. I suppose it is appropriately paradoxical that he is carved in stone. Dead on the inside. David, in his legacy of strength and power and beauty, also embodies treachery and cowardice and fear. I like this portrait of Michelangelo (Jacopino del Conte). Full of melancholy.
I am convinced that, any day now, I am going to be happy again. Any day now.
I am ready to look like the girl in my pictures-- the one that looks really, really happy. I like her.
i like her too.
ReplyDeletebut i also like her in this moment -- however melancholic she is, eating her ice cream.
for this moment will shape her just as richly.
love you!
Tonight I am so wishing we could eat that ice cream together. Sure miss you friend.
ReplyDeleteIce cream is near to ice and snow-hearts, pure and beautiful, if you´re looking deep you will see the cristals. the beautiness in every condition ... - of our hearts.
ReplyDeleteAnd some day the heart will burning.
But it´s always the same heart.
Norbert
Thank you Norbert. I think you are right. I will look deeply and study the crystals.
ReplyDeletehttp://aboutnichts.blogspot.com/2009_02_01_archive.html
:-) Thank you for the encouragement Shell and Tonya and Norbert,
Carmen
The depths of your dreams, the height of your wishes, the length of your vision to see, the hope of your heart is much bigger than this for it's made out of what might be.
ReplyDeleteNow picture your hope, your heart's desire like a castle that you must keep. In all of its splendor, it's drafty with lonely - this heart is too hard to heat.
Chorus:
When I feel lonely, that's only a sign some room is empty - and that room is there by design. When I feel hollow - that's just my proof that there's more for me to follow - that's what the lonely is for.
Is it a curse or a blessing this palace of promise where the empty chill makes you weep? With only a thin wall of romance to warm you these walls are too tall and deep.
Chorus
But you can seal up the pain, build walls in the hallways, close up a small room to live in. But those walls will remain and keep you there always and you'll never know why you were given...why you were given the lonely.
David Wilcox, "That's What the Lonely is For"
on "Big Horizon"
Many an evening I would run down hoping they had not yet close to buy my $17/pint chocolate and peanut butter Häagen-Dazs.
ReplyDeleteCheck out the first song. Love you.
ReplyDeletehttp://blip.fm/finnster