A Poem for the Season

Making the House Ready for the Lord
Mary Oliver

Dear Lord, I have swept and I have washed but
Still nothing is as shining as it should be
for you. Under the sink, for example, is an
uproar of mice—it is the season of their
many children. What shall I do? And under the eaves
and through the walls the squirrels
have gnawed their ragged entrances—but it is the season
when they need shelter, so what shall I do? And
the raccoon limps into the kitchen and opens the cupboard
while the dog snores, the cat hugs the pillow;
what shall I do? Beautiful is the new snow falling
in the yard and the fox who is staring boldly
up the path, to the door. And still I believe you will
come, Lord: you will, when I speak to the fox
the sparrow, the lost dog, the shivering sea-goose, know
that really I am speaking to you whenever I say,
as I do all morning and afternoon: Come in, Come in.

I like this poem. Yes, I do. I like this woman in the poem, whoever she is.

I have good news: Philadelphia is constantly revealing, albeit slowly, some lovely things about itself. Here is a charming factoid: O Little Town of Bethlehem, the popular Christmas song, was written by a priest at a church around the corner from where I live. I also like the fact that Emily Dickinson used to attend church here. Ain't bad to live in a place haunted by music and poetry!

I have shared before and after pics of my office at work! Looking far more legitimate, eh?

A Happy Day

Happiness has a way of catching you off guard. At least, the best kinds of happiness works that way. Today I stooped down to pluck up the most marvelous leaf whose reds and purples were somewhere near indescribable. I have learned to drive a stick shift, which makes me feel strangely grown-up and being grown-up makes me feel sophisticated and world-wizened. Funny, but true. Today, out of the blue, I was reminded of how lovely it is to be so close to someone that you can feel their heartbeat. This crossed my mind and made me happy.

My friends Becky and Andy have been generous in welcoming me to Philadelphia and I love the way their 8 month-old baby Anneke nestles in close and thinks that noses are absolutely scrumptious. My nephew Tate and I had our most “grown up” conversation yet and I marvel at the boy he is becoming. I met some new girlfriends for coffee tonight and was reminded of how many good people there are in the world. All in all, it has been a day full of good things.

I still sort of hate Philadelphia, but am doing my best to expect the unexpected. And no doubt some more happiness will come my way :-)

Waiting on some inspiration

Thoughts from the last 15 minutes:

1) I want to take a photography class. That needs to be on the life agenda.

2) Do you think there is anything worse than dishonesty? I think it might be one of the worst qualities in a person.

3) Falling in love is annoying, for the record. I am certain of it. That is the conclusion on the matter, this day, November 2, 2009.

4) Flirting, on the other hand, not so bad.

5) I would like a kitten. A fluffy, puffy, meowing kitten. What shall I name him? Something French, I think. Pierre.

6) I like cappuccinos. I think I may have found a coffee shop to return to regularly. It is rustic. That is a good word for it. Rustic, yet urban-fashionable. I am drinking a cappuccino right now, so I expect my mood to improve exponentially in approximately 5 minutes.

I’ve been waiting on some inspiration before writing a blog posting, but inspiration has been hard to come by lately.

I now live on the third floor of a creaky, old brownstone at Arch and 18th Street in Philadelphia. There is a row of eight small trees that line the block, but for the most part I am surrounded by concrete and steel. I need to find myself some parks. I have come to find that Philadelphians LOVE Philadelphia. It is a surprisingly intense love affair (and slightly obnoxious to the outsider). I have offended a few people by asking, "What exactly makes this city so great?" I am a jerk.

One wonderful thing about this city? Brunch. There are lots of great places for long, luxurious brunches- good coffee, good food, good atmosphere.

I have been absorbed by work already, but have found some time for lovely excursions with friends. Went to a wedding in Princeton last weekend and got to spend time with some people that I love.

Solitude and joy are not diametrically opposed. I plan to seize a little of both this week.

Sugar and spice and everything nice

I wish the candle that is burning cheerfully in my room this evening was a baked good. Its scent is "pumpkin spice" and I occasionally look up to see if it has magically turned into a plate of pumpkin muffins or scones because it smells that good. Yummy. Reasons why I want to eat pumpkin scones at this very moment:

1) All of my friends have been talking about taking their children to pumpkin patches. This is charming and very autumnal, so I have pumpkins on the brain.
2) It is rainy and cheerless and treeless in my current corner of the world and I am dying for something sweet and earthy
3) I am mildly depressed and mild depression always calls for a baked good. It has been slowly dawning on me this weekend (even though I should have been fully aware) that moving to a new city means starting over - new friends, new parks, new grocery store, new yoga studio, new rhythm of life (all of which I have failed to find thus far). Carmen, your extrovert-extrodinaire, is feeling a little sorry for herself this evening.

Philadelphia is called the "City of Brotherly Love," but so far, I haven't seen much lovin'. This isn't a particularly friendly town. In fact, my friend J.C. reminded me recently that Philadelphia famously booed and threw garbage at Santa Claus at an Eagle's game a few years ago (football, for my Euro friends that could care less about silly American sports). Booed Santa Claus!!

Living downtown Philadelphia is nothing like living downtown Manhattan. The chain stores and gritty concrete are the same, but where is a Central Park when you need one? I had planned on going to a movie tonight, but it is frigid and rainy and I don't know the Philly transit system well enough to get to the other side of the city. Sigh. It will get better. Just a bummer today. I don't have any interesting photos yet. My friend Peg suggested I take pics of the new digs, but this mission failed because it was just too fetching cold. I'll get on it eventually. Here's wishing you a delicious fall moment or two in the coming weeks!

The life of a holy roller

I like the title of this post, even if I am full of c-r-a-p. I am no holy roller, but you'd think I would be since I am a pastor.

Life in Philadelphia: I am sitting on a bed (the only clean, comfy, organized thing in my life right now), surrounded by boxes, overwhelmed by a very full inbox, swimming in WORK, curious about the strange new city I live in, and thrilled about the potential of this church. I already like the people I work with-- creative, smart, authentic-types that are all about service, compassion, and learning.

After 4 nights at here, I have decided the house where I live is not haunted. She is crumbling and falling apart in myriad charming ways, but she is ghost-less. Don't worry, I will make sure she is not lifeless!

This pic gives you a picture of where I live and work. Hopefully it will be the place that soon feels like home.

On a Plane Bound for Philly

Finally spent some time with the family. It's been a nice four days. I have been wrestling with the nephews and cuddling with my new baby niece in Canby, Oregon. Yesterday was a glorious fall day and we spent most of it chopping down trees on my sister’s mini-farm. I am not kidding. Chopping. My dad taught me how to use a chainsaw and we brought down a couple of diseased trees. Fun! Saturday afternoon was perfectly, fantastically antithetical to my urban life in Philadelphia.

I love my sister’s house.

They have a small orchard out front and yesterday my nephew Tate and I filled a bucket with rotting pears and apples to bring to the goats and cows across the road. I always love being with my sister. Just standing next to her wearing a pair of work boots and dirty old jeans soothes me. Strange. I wonder if most sisters feel this way?

I missed my cousin Jenny’s wedding, but I got to spend one evening with my Sam and Angie (and briefly reacquaint myself with their darling wee people—3 kids under the age of 3— true bravery). When I arrived Angie promptly came out on the porch holding one of the twins (Glory?) and for a second I was reminded of the Folgers coffee commercials that used to make me cry. Remember that TV commercial where the older brother comes home for Christmas, sneaks in early in the morning, and joyfully wakes up the family over a mug of instant coffee? Yes, I felt like that. I happen to love the Lai family.

I can be such a bratty cynic about the world at times and yet it is full of wonderful people. I chatted with Rochelle for over an hour and I was reminded of the luxury of laying around with a sleeping baby on a comfy couch (my niece is a rather angelic infant). As I boarded the plane this morning, I was charmed by a woman wearing a fleece covered in neatly labeled lighthouses, an old silver-haired woman who methodically prayed a bright green rosary throughout the take-off and landing, and the cheerful strangers that welcomed their aisle-mates as if they had been waiting to meet this person all their life. This is one more thing to add to the "Great Things About America" list: unabashed friendliness. Yes, there will always be exceptions to the rule, but I love that strangers are often quite cheerful with one another in this country.

This post is long, so I will stop. One of these days I will tell you about my new job and the haunted manse where I live. But I hardly feel like a Philadelphia resident yet, so give me a few days. I am sure something newsworthy and interesting will come up.

News from Scandinavia

Did you know....

- Until 1986 the prime minister of Sweden walked around Stockholm without security, like he was a perfectly ordinary citizen (and then there was the assassination debacle)
- There is a "vodka belt" in Sweden. They also have a "Bible belt" but it is much, much smaller
- When you have a baby here you automatically get a year paid leave. Awesome.
- You can legally have sexual relations with animals in Sweden (OMG)
- The Finns created our version of the sauna (after the Turks) and it is GOOD!!!! Yesterday I traipsed around in a towel in multiple steamy rooms and felt like a new woman!
- Norway was very poor, a developing country, until they discovered oil in the 1960's (70's?) and now it is one of the wealthiest countries in the world
- Want to rile up some Scandinavians? Get one Norwegian, Dane, or Swede in a room that supports the monarchy and one that feels it is absolutely undemocratic and casually bring up the king or queen. Sparks, people. Sparks.
- Immigration is the hot topic in Scandinavia. Everyone is trying to figure out Scandinavian identity right now. Fascinating for me, one from the nation of immigrants

Bye bye vacation. I will miss you.