The Spanish Lessons Guy

When I first arrived in Seattle I was eager to get back to Green Lake, my favorite place to run in the city. When circling the lake for the first time I recognized a number of "regulars" including the Spanish Lessons guy. Nice to see him meandering the lake 8 years later.

Except he wasn't wearing his Spanish Lessons pinny. This perplexed me. He seemed to be walking a bit slower and he was not accompanied by a spanish student. Bummer. I spotted him a second time and again he walked alone. Drat. But today sweet victory! I was pleased as punch to see him, bright white and red pinny in place, chattering with an eager mustached student speaking extra loudly to make up for his poor grammar.

For some reason I found this soothing. The world changes, changes, changes, but some things stay the same. Like the friendly Spanish Lessons Guy.


I'm applying for jobs like a mad woman. Even jobs that are ridiculous. This whole unemployment thing gets annoying. I had to say to my self, "Self, do not flinch" when an employed doctor said to me, "I have no money." It is all relative, people. All relative.

I've had loads of encouragement these days. I have hung out with some amazing pastors who are reminding me of why I got into this business in the first place. And despite the fact that a handful of them have made it clear that they would NEVER hire me because some of my new-fangled liberal beliefs, I like them. And I happen to think Jesus likes them as well. And me. And the gays (seriously, swear to our heavenly father (even though we aren't supposed to swear), that a guy interviewing me referred to folks who self-identify as homosexuals as "the gays"). So, I am okay with being ousted from some circles. There will be others to join.

I am starting my mental list of "things I'd like to have once I have a job." Top of the list? A cat. But not more than one. I will not be a crazy cat lady. Second on the list? A pedicure. And after a significant number of paychecks and the illusion of stability? A camera. This list is subject to change on a moment's notice, btw.

All right. Herein ends the news. Hope you have your own version of "The Spanish Lessons Guy." Some things really do stay the same.

Love.

Sum-sum-summa time

The cold weather has finally given way to blue sky, sunny days, and summer barbecues! Returning to Seattle has allowed for some fantastic reunions, trips to visit the fam, new friends, and plenty of time to introduce Clark to the beauty of the Pacific Northwest. We've hiked, chatted late into the evening around a campfire or two, planted a garden at Peg's house, ferried around the Sound, travelled east across the mountains to visit the Smith family (back from Zambia!) and some seminary friends, went to a rodeo and an MLS soccer game, and plenty of other adventures.

Not bad for some unemployed folks. I am still the Reverend Secretary (doing Admin work at a church nearby), but doing my best to savor the summer. Here are some of the people I have been spending time with:

College room-mates Ryan, and Angie and Clark the Great

Fantabulous Peg who is hosting me in her home

And of course my sister Tamara and her kiddos Tate, Tyson, and Alyssa. I will be in town for the birthdays for all three kids this year. Such a gift!

I was going to write a blog post...

...but I decided to read poetry instead.

If you can't say anything nice...

... then don't say anything at all.

Today as I stood out in the rain, car alarm blaring, perplexed as to why the engine of the darling borrowed beauty refused to start for the third time, I could not help but feel a bit sorry for myself. To lighten the mood Clark and I ran errands. We got lost on the way to the library and walked in the door only to be told it was closing for the evening. Walked to the bank and realized that I had forgotten my bank card. 45 minutes later and empty handed we finally made it to the grocery store. At least Trader Joe's had that nice cilantro salad dressing I like. Being unemployed and unsettled and having everything you own in someone's garage 3000 miles away has the capacity to depress you. But like any rational creature, when you walk home from the grocery store and pass a man struggling to refasten his velcro shoes and six different homeless men asking for money, you realize life isn't so bad-- even if you don't have health insurance or look cute in a bikini top like that yoga instructor you saw through the window. Life is so weird these days. I feel disoriented. Wonderfully encouraged and supported by good friends and family, but I am 13 for 13, people. No dice.

Now that I have ranted I am sure I will feel much better. It is a pretty night in Seattle. The veil of rain has lifted and the sun is peaking through the windows. This blog post will come down in t-minus 3 days when I will apply for the next round of jobs and will re-post something cheerful and reflective and tasteful. As mama always used to say, "Things always look brighter in the morning." Here's to it, mama.

Apocalypse Nope

I thought I might be the only one in a blogging slump, but I've noticed recently that most of my blogging buddies are sharing less and less these days. What's with the lethargy? Have we finally decided that full public disclosure is really a needless contribution to the mad cacophony in the world? Maybe we have we realized our thoughts and observations of the world are intensely ordinary and aren't worth talking about. On a more hopeful note, maybe some of us are standing back in awe these days? There is plenty in this world worth quiet reverence: love, loss, and the intense, magnificent weirdness of people.

Por ejemplo, i.e., the Apocalypse prediction. God Almighty. I fiercely ignored the talk of the earth's immanent destruction because anyone who knows anything about Jesus or the New Testament knows that this was a stupid prophecy. Some old radio evangelist predicts the end of the world and a bunch of people sell all their goods in preparation for the big day? Who ARE these people? And why doesn't anyone actually know ANYTHING about the Bible? Redemption and healing, people. That's the message.

I spent Friday afternoon with my hands in the dirt. My friend Peg had bought a bunch of plants that needed planting, so I weeded and watered and moved earth around while I considered some of the conversations I have had in the last week. I am amazed at some of the advice people bestow in the midst of a job search. "If you are faithful like me, God will guide you into the right situation."

Seriously? I suppose, much advice comes from the same place in people. Whether you are warning folks of immanent apocalyptic death, interpreting honorable living according to Scripture (gay ordination debate), or explaining why I am unemployed and they are employed (or why your baby died and mine did not), it comes from a longing for control and a fear of the unknown.

Perhaps.

Perhaps this is where I end and go take a shower for the day. I'm meeting my Dad in Olympia for a date. I've got bigger fish to fry than sit at a computer right now- heck, according to that radio prophet we've all got a new lease on life! It is May 22, 2011 and the world has not come to an end. Selah.

Dear Seattle,

I love you. I love the Ballard Farmer's Market. I love all the people here who care about the earth and drink coffee and sing sad songs on the street corners. You're weather is unimaginably grim this time of year, but thank you for the generous glimpses of spring. You do an excellent job with Evergreens and I really think you should show off your mountains more. No need to be shy-- they are truly one of your best features.

Love, Carmen

P.S. I am about to post pictures of my trip to Florida. Don't be jealous. Do not feel that I have abandoned my love for you in exchange for warm, sunny skies and white sandy beaches. You are BOTH beautiful. Just saying.

What I was doing last Monday:


What I am doing this Monday:

Thoughts on Mom

Mother's Day. Not my favorite. Today at church someone tried to pin a red carnation on my sweater in honor of my mother. But red carnations were "given in honor of living mothers," a woman said. I snatched a white carnation instead and pinned it to my chest. My mother is dead. White carnations are for the dead.

I was feeling sour as I marched around the church, ever mindful of that spindly white flower drooping over my heart.

My mom died almost 11 years ago. 4,001 days without a mom, to be exact. There are many things I miss, of course. Today I miss her laugh. Wish she could have been sitting with me in that little church this morning. I preached today and I rather think she would have enjoyed hearing me preach.

This day is full of goodness, of course. We have good reason to celebrate the sisters who love and nurture the human race, but to all of you who feel a twinge of sadness this day, peace be with you, my dears. Peace.