Mother's Day. Not my favorite. Today at church someone tried to pin a red carnation on my sweater in honor of my mother. But red carnations were "given in honor of living mothers," a woman said. I snatched a white carnation instead and pinned it to my chest. My mother is dead. White carnations are for the dead.I was feeling sour as I marched around the church, ever mindful of that spindly white flower drooping over my heart.
My mom died almost 11 years ago. 4,001 days without a mom, to be exact. There are many things I miss, of course. Today I miss her laugh. Wish she could have been sitting with me in that little church this morning. I preached today and I rather think she would have enjoyed hearing me preach.
This day is full of goodness, of course. We have good reason to celebrate the sisters who love and nurture the human race, but to all of you who feel a twinge of sadness this day, peace be with you, my dears. Peace.
Friend,
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you. I'm sorry that we aren't always as sensitive as we should be.
I love your heart. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to see you while you were here. Maybe one of these glorious NW days we will share over coffee :) Peace to you, my dear-hearted friend.
ReplyDelete11 years - How can that be? Shit. Sorry, but that's the best I could come up with. You actually wore the flower? Strong girl. I'm sure your words were fabulous and your mom would be immensely proud, but I ache that you've had to "celebrate" 11 Mothers' Days without her. Not fair.
ReplyDeleteWe will be in Seattle this weekend...
stupid white carnations. thinking of you, dear one.
ReplyDeleteDear Carmie,
ReplyDeleteI remember when you first told Shelly and I about your Mom in that sunbathing cabana in Bali. You are an incredibly brave and beautiful woman from the inside out. We miss you terribly and love you immensely. Hope the new digs are working out. Love you Carms!!!
Can't there just be one color of carnation? So sorry Car. I imagine it is something you never get used to, but that also means her memory and life lives on in you....and you do her so proud!!! Love.
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